My name is Eilish, but I operate under the pseudonym EUCA. I’m 23 and I’m from the Goldie. I’m a musician and that simple fact is my greatest joy. Why am I crying already? I need to add ‘emotional’ to my ‘about me’. I have been playing guitar and writing music since I was 9 years old and I find that lyricism is my best outlet. My favourite things are driving, hiking, spicy food, gossiping with my housemate at the end of a long day, and when I get to see my boyfriend every two weeks.
Can you talk us through a challenge you have overcome and how you managed it?
My biggest challenge has been speaking publicly about my experience as a victim of sexual assault. That first post I made in 2019 changed me forever. While I had always planned to eventually speak publicly, I was inspired to make the post at that point because a boy I was seeing had pressured me immensely to explain explicitly what had happened to me in exchange for his trust (sigh). As you can guess, it didn’t go well. His responses were littered with “you trust people too easily”, “why would you let him do that”, and “how did you even get in that position”. I realised that gatekeeping my story for people who were close to me didn’t necessarily translate into safety anymore, and decided to instead share the story with everybody and open a dialogue through my social media where people who felt unsafe, unsure or even just curious could come and speak to me.
As scary as it was at first, it was the best thing I ever did for my recovery. The flood of support and love was so unexpected and comforting. It made me feel so strong and empowered. I still continue to share openly on Instagram through semi-regular Q&A’s. Not only do I now feel like my experience had some good come from it, it helps me to work through my shit too.
If you could give your younger self any advice, what would it be?
Don’t be such a doormat - you give too much and you WILL be taken advantage of. Also, don’t pay your mate’s rent.
What is your best piece of advice for young women?
Put your foot down and take no shit. Pride yourself on pissing people off when it’s for the right reasons. You have a voice – use it.
Also, I wish more young women could see what I now see as an adult, things like; boys aren’t always talking shit about you; school is actually really cool if you take all the opportunities it presents by the balls; and skipping trivial social events to work on yourself, your passions and your hobbies, isn’t missing out AT ALL.
Where is your happy place?
Anywhere where my friends are. The people I surround myself with have saved me when all I saw is complete and utter darkness. I like to maintain a very tough and resilient exterior, but those close to me know how much I have needed and continue to need them. Being with them now, when the days are brighter, is the most comfortable and beautiful part of my week. I love just sitting around each other’s flats in the morning, and spinning yarn watching sunset.
What is something powerful you believe?
That you are responsible for your own happiness.
I read a parable in ‘The Subtle Art of Not Giving a Fuck’ about what options a person may have if a baby were to be left at their front doorstep. The moral of the story is – it’s not your fault, it’s not fair, but it’s still your responsibility what you do with it and how you feel about it. This mindset got me through my assault. I had literally read the book only weeks prior, I implemented its methodology immediately and I truly think it was what kept me safe in those initial stages. I continue to repurpose that mantra wherever I can. I feel taking responsibility for my happiness speeds up the process of healing, forgiving, and forgetting.
Something that made you smile recently
My boyfriend accidentally called a ‘nail salon’ a ‘finger parlour’ last week and I’ve not stopped laughing since.